Dear Mom
October 28, 2005A mother passing by her daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Mom.”
With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with John and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion mom, I’m pregnant and John said that we will be very happy.
He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too.
John taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your daughter,
Judith
PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Ako po ay may tanong..
Ang SUN cellular po ba ay may signal sa gabi?? (dba nga everything under the sun…edi kung walang sun..sarado ang SUN cell?)
Ang scratch paper ba ay pwedeng pang kamot??
Ano meron sa wala??
Kailan ba titigil ang FINAL fantasy??
Manay Letty
Dear Manay Letty,
May ihihingi akong payo sa iyo kaya sana mabigyan mo ako ng magandang sagot sa problema ko. Simple lang naman eh.
Naguguluhan lang kasi ako. Ang fish ball ba ay bayag ng isda?
O sige hanggang sa muli!
Doc Trina
********************
Dear Doc Trina,
Napaghahalata sa tanong mo na isa kang malaswang babae, at wala kang nasasa-isip kung hindi mga itlog ng lalake. Malamang isa kang pokpok.
Gayun pa man ay sasagutin ko ang iyong katanungan, dahil mukhang tatanga-tanga ka talaga. Para sa iyong kaalaman, ang fish ball ay hindi bayag ng isda.
Sana ay naliwanagan ka sa aking sagot, at aasahan ko ang iyong muling pagsulat.
Para sa iyo, Doc Trina:
Y.E.M.E.N. - Yugyugan ! Every Morning, Every Night.Nagmamahal forever,
Manay Letty
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Dear Manay Letty,
Isa akong 38-years old na babae, single at mayaman. Pagkatapos ng mahabang panahong tigang, may nanliligaw ulit sa akin ngayon, si Tony.
Mukha naman siyang mabait pero hindi ko siya masyadong gusto dahil, uhm, pangit siya. Ngunit sa edad kong ito, nais ko na sanang makapag-asawa, at baka si Tony na ang last chance ko. Ano ang aking dapat gawin?
Jogalyn
********************
Dear Jogalyn,
Huwag ka nang mag-inarte at sigurado akong hindi ka naman kagandahan.
Pangalan mo pa lang jologs na jologs na. Magpasalamat ka na lang at may gusto pang pumatol sa ‘yo kahit guranggutan ka na.
Anyway, hindi mo dapat isipin na si Tony na ang last chance mo para lumagay sa tahimik, Jogalyn. Dahil hindi ka naman papakasalan nun, pera mo lang ang habol niya at iiwanan ka din balang-araw.
Huwag ka nang mag-ilusyon na makapag-aasawa ka pa at dapat ngayon pa lang ay tanggapin mo na na tatanda kang dalaga habangbuhay.
Sana ay napaligaya ka ng aking tugon sa iyong problema.
Para sa iyo, Jogalyn:
B.A.L.I.W.A.G. - Beauty And Love I Will Always Give.
Nagmamahal forever,
Manay Letty
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Dear Manay Letty,
Isa akong gwapong chickboy at dalawa ang aking girlfriends. Minsan ay nagkasabay sila sa isang lugar di ko kasi alam. Tuloy inaaway nila ako. Ngayon at gusto ng makipag-break. Kaya nga kailangan ko ang iyong tulong.
Edgar
********************
Dear Edgar,
Walang kwenta ang liham mo kaya ayokong sagutin. Huwag ka ng susulat ulit dito at inaaksaya mo lang ang panahon ko, leche ka.
Edgar, dahil ang sabi mo ay gwapo ka, at mahilig si Manay Letty sa gwapo, ito ang para sa iyo:
P.H.I.L.I.P.P.I.N.E.S. - Pumping Hot…I Love It! Please, Please…I Need Erotic Stimulation!
Nagmamahal forever,
Manay Letty
********************
Dear Manay Letty,
Nais kong ikuwento sa inyo ang namagitan sa amin ng aking itay isang gabi. Hindi ko kayang makalimutan kahit anong bahagi ng gabing iyon. Malakas ang ulan noon. Katatapos ko pa lamang maligo at nakatapis pa lamang ako sa loob ng aking kuwarto.
Narinig ko si Itay na kumakatok! sa aking pinto. Nang sagutin ko ang pinto ay sinabi niya
na kailangan daw naming magusap.
Pinapasok ko naman po siya dahil ama ko po siya. Nagulat na lamang ako nang isarado at ikinandado niya ang pinto.
Hinawakan ni Itay ang braso ko. Napasigaw ako, sabi ko “ITAY huwag, anak mo ako!”. Ngunit hindi tumigil ang aking Itay.
Ipinagpatuloy niya ang kanyang ginawa. Pumikit na lamang ako dahil sa ayaw kong makita ang mukha nang aking tatay sa kababuyan na kanyang ginagawa.
Naririnig ko si Inay na binubulabog ang pinto. Sumisigaw na, “Hayop ka wag mong gawin yan sa anak mo!” Ngunit wala pa rin. Ipinaubaya ko na lamang ang sarili ko sa Diyos.
Pagkalagpas ng ilang sandali ay natapos din ang aking Itay. Nang humarap ako sa salamin ay nagulat ako sa aking nakita. !
Magaling naman pala mag-make-up si Itay. Noong gabi na iyon ay nagladlad ng kapa si Itay. Natuwa ako at mahusay ang kanyang ginawa. Naisip ko na matutuwa ang aking boyfriend dahil sa ganda ko. Nagyakapan kami doon at nag-iyakan.
Masaya na kami ngayon at walang problema.
Lubos na gumagalang,
Badong
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Dear Badong,
Wala akong masabi sa liham mo kundi…PANALO!!!
Para sa iyo, Badong:
B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
Nagmamahal forever,
Manay Letty
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Dear Manay Letty,
Mayroon akong anak na ubod ng landi. Mas makati pa sa higad ang hitad, wala nang pinatawad, pati mga magbabalut pinapatulan.
Kung minsan nga’y nahuhuli ko pa sa may gulayan sa aming bakuran, kasama ang mga tanim naming talong at upo! Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin sa haliparot kong anak, hiyang-hiya na ako sa ibang tao.
Desperate
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Dear Desperate,
Itay naman sabi nang huwag na kayong susulat dito eh!
Malaki na ako, hayaan nyo na ako sa gusto ko sa buhay. Matipuno naman yung mga magbabalut sa atin, tsaka friends lang kami nun.
Namatay na nga pala si Tiya Dely, hayun successful naman ang libing.
Kamusta na si Inay? Utang na loob patigilin nyo na sa pag-aararo si Inay.
Para sa iyo, Itay:
P.E.R.U. - Phorget Everyone… Remember Us.
At pakisabi kay Daniel, yung magtataho sa atin:
P.A.R.A.N.A.Q.U.E. - Please Always Remain Adorable, Nice And Quiet Under Ecstacy.
Nagmamahal forever,
Manay Letty
********************
Hanggang dito na lamang po sa linggong ito, because I’m tired and I’m pretty. Sana ay antabayan niyo ang mga susunod pang liham na aming ilalathala dito. Nawa’y magpatuloy ang inyong pagdulog at pagsulat sa…Dear Manay Letty.
Ngunit bago ako magpaalam, nais ko sanang mag-iwan ng isang munting mensahe hindi lamang para sa lahat ng mga masugid na sumusubaybay sa Dear Manay Letty, kundi pati na din para sa aking sarili at sa aking One and Only, na itatago ko na lang sa pangalang Vanilla Milkshake.
So, para sa inyo, dear readers: L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
Para naman sa akin: P.A.S.A.Y. - Pretty And Sexy Are You.
Heto pa isa: E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything’s Great, You Pretty Thing!
At para kay Vanilla Milkshake: I.M.U.S. - I Miss U, Sweet! heart.
Ito po ang inyong Manay Letty na nagpapaalam at nagsasabing…toodles!
Ikaw ba ay nalulungkot, nababalisa, walang makausap? Humingi na ng payo kay Manay Letty!
Game
For your leisure time, I’ve enclosed a (labirith) puzzle. Try to beat Level 4 and you’ll see/hear an animation of the ”goddess of all hula dancers.” Be forwarned that this could be addicting.
Directions: Keep the (blue) cursor in the orange area, and make your way to the end (red area). Stay off of the black area - or you’ll have to start all over again.
Aloha,
Lee
Confusion
A cowboy walks into a bar and sits down next to a beautiful brunette.
She looks him over and says you must be a cowboy.
He says yes ma’am I’m a cowboy. I ride a horse, rope cattle, and sleep under the stars. Yep I’m a cowboy. What are you
She says I’m a lesbian. I wake in the morning thinking of pussy, I spend all day thinking of pussy, I go to sleep at night dreaming of pussy. Yes I’m a lesbian.
A banker in his three piece suit walks in and sits by the cowboy, looks him over and says I guess your a cowboy.
The cowboy looks at him all confused scratches his head and says I thought i was when I came in here but have just found out I’m a lesbian.
2 minute Management Lessons (ala Aesop Fables)
Lesson One:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him: “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”
The eagle answered: “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
*** Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. ***
Lesson Two:
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
“I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree”, sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.”
“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.”
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
*** Management Lesson:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there. ***
Lesson Three:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, promptly dug him out and ate him.
*** Management Lesson:
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut. ***
Hate
October 27, 2005A former team mate forwarded to me this blog site: http://cofibean.blogspot.com/. It’s so full of bullshit, fuck, damn, katarantaduhan, and so COÑO, ha, as in, ever lang!
Ya know, it’s so dyahe just to read something so bullshitty, ya know? Like, ‘di naman everyday that you read something na so basura to the max, ‘di ba? And just make isip-isip, ha: we, call center agents have something to boast - that is we talk to Americans and other foreign citizens that improve our grammar and accent. We don’t talk like the author who’s so coño, who has to revert to the local language just to express himself! It just shows how low a person can be, not to be able to speak in one language fluidly. It’s such a waste of talent. The only thing that I can see for the person is his talent to put mud on his name. His mouth (and/or his mind) is so filty, it puts public toilets to shame!
As much as I want NOT to advertise this blog, it is a bit fun to read. Take the time to know the person, and you’ll see what I mean.
Humorous, but at the expense of his others’, and his own, reputations.
Privacy Policies
October 26, 2005Top privacy policies: Intel, Expedia, e-Loan by ZDNet’s ZDNet Research — Customer Respect Group analyzed privacy policies of 464 major companies. The top 10 companies rated for privacy were Intel, Expedia, E-Loan, Verizon Wireless, Estee Lauder Companies, Marriott International, Con-Way Transportation Services, IBM and Medco Health Solutions.
Basic Economics
Currently, unleaded gasoline is over P33.00 and it is still going up (sometimes unnoticed). Despite the fact that a barrel of oil has gone down to US$62 from US $70 (when Superstorm Katrina hit New Orleans), gasoline prices are still going up instead of a downward trend. Worst, the big oil players such as Caltex, Shell and Petron claim that they are still losing money. It is time we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace….not sellers.
Learning the Art of Negotiation
Often you will have to negotiate with a customer. Negotiating involves recognizing
the needs of the caller, comparing them against your organization’s ability to
deliver what is required, then reaching a solution that will satisfy both parties.
Negotiation is required when a request is made for service you cannot or do not
offer.
For every woman
For every woman who is tired of acting weak when she knows she is strong;
There is a man who is tired of appearing strong when he feels vulnerable.
For every woman who is tired of acting dumb;
There is a man who is burdened with the responsibility of �knowing everything�.
For every women who is tired of being called an �emotional female�;
There is a man who is denied the right to weep and be gentle.
For every woman who is called unfeminine when she competes;
There is a man for whom competition is the only way to prove he is masculine.
For every woman who is tired of being a sex object;
There is a man who must worry about his potency.
For every woman who feels �tied down� by her children;
There is a man who is denied the full pleasure of parenthood.
For every woman who is denied meaningful employment and equal pay;
There is a man who must bear the financial responsibility for another human being.
For every woman who was not taught the intricacies of an automobile;
There is a man who was not taught the satisfaction of cooking.
For every woman who takes a step towards her own liberation;
There is a man who finds that the way to freedom has been made a little easier.
Federal screener accused of stealing $80,000 from checked bag
October 25, 2005A federal baggage screener at New York’s JFK Airport faces charges of grand larceny and possession of stolen property after allegedly swiping $80,000 from a passenger’s suitcase. The unidentified victim, a 45-year-old New York City man who owns a gift shop in Manhattan, noticed the missing cash after he arrived in Karachi, Pakistan, on Pakistani Airlines Flight 716. He called his cousin in New York, who had helped him check his luggage with federal screeners. Once alerted to the theft, the cousin identified the Transportation Security Administration screener who handled the bag, according to the New York Post. Prosecutors say that once the 23-year-old screener was confronted by authorities, he confessed to taking $60,000 cash. He had $18,000 still on him, but says he spent the rest to pay off a gambling debt, authorities say. “It is particularly troubling that an individual responsible for ensuring the safety and security of our nation’s airlines and protecting us from terrorism would allegedly engage in such egregious conduct,” Queens District Attorney Richard Brown is quoted as saying by Newsday of Long Island.
Dubious
Do we really have to label “lying” as human nature? Are we really that degraded? Or do we just generalize what WE do? Well, I’m not a hypocrite who would say I don’t lie. In fact, I’ll be one of the first to tell you that lying IS sometimes healthy!
But Americans?! No way! They’d tell you that they live in Florida just to get a refund on things, they’ll scream their heads off and tell you to fuck yourself, fuck your mom or whatever (they’re also very creative when it comes to expletives! so colorful…), they’ll also act dumb (is it really just an act?) just to get what they want. Is it right to generalize this attitude?
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
I surfed the net, and as usual, found some interesting pics for y’all!
This time, our topic is the upcoming event of the year: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire!
Feel free to browse through the album. The folder is shown at the left sidebar.
New Problem
Problems facing the truth, having a hard time to keep up with reality. I just wish I can stop time, or even reverse it. I’m having a bad hair day!
Storm and Angel
October 21, 2005
I can’t leave this picture in my BlogDrive! I must post this here! It’s my treasure!!! ^_^
I Stand Correctment!
October 20, 2005
Ever been in an embarrasing situation when you thought you were saying the right thing but people laughed at you? Just to prove that we’re all human, I’m going to compile some misconceived expressions and wrong use of words. You’ll then see things differently. It’ll fall under catergory “Bloopers”. Enjoy!
Morbid
I decided to smoke a stick twenty minutes away from logging out. I’m not sure why, maybe I’m just affected by the callers for today. But while I was smoking, I saw a stray dog on the parking lot. All of a sudden I imagined the dog lying on the lot, head bashed in, blood spurting all around. I could even see the eyeball hanging out from the socket! Final observation? This isn’t my day. Good thing I was just a few minutes away from 6am! I can end my day in peace.
Or so I thought. Head ache, body pains, loss of breath… what’s happening to me? Am I coming down with something? Or do I just want to take advantage of my Maxicare? Hehehe, sayang naman, it’s still 500 thousand usable money to the hospital.
What’s happening to me?! *sigh*
Memories Extinct
October 19, 2005Here’s to a new beginning!
Funny, I feel like it’s my first day in school. I know you’re all familiar with the feeling. You’re used to something and suddenly you’re in a completely different environment. I admit I miss the interface of BlogDrive.
Well, I think I’ll give i.ph a try. I’m getting used to the interface every minute. There are a lot more functions than BlogDrive. Maybe it’s just nostalgia. I dunno. Get over it! ^_^
