Paid in Full

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water.

She thought he looked hungry so brou! ght him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, “How much do I owe you?”

“You don’t owe me anything,” she replied. “Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness.”

He said….. “Then I thank you from my heart.” As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Year’s later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.

Dressed in his doctor’s gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After! a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval.

He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her ro om. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill.
She read these words…..

“Paid in full with one glass of milk”

 (Signed)
Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed:
“Thank You, God, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands.”

Strange True Stories

Even the greatest story writer would have never come up with this strange but true stories.

As an air hostess passed along the aisle of the plane on the transatlantic flight from Amsterdam to New York noticed that the baby, nestled between the couple who were asleep, didn’t look very well in fact it looked extremely ill. Not wanting to disturb anyone she gently lifted up the baby and took it back to her station. Feeling the baby’s forehead, she found it was cold and with a sudden panic she realised that the infant was dead. Calling upon a doctor she knew to be on board, he examined the baby and confirmed that, not only was it dead, but it was embalmed. The child’s body had been hollowed out and it was full of the drugs that the couple were trying to smuggle into the States.

A young lady is alone in her apartment. She goes to bed with her dog on the floor beside her. In the middle of the night, she is woken up by a strange sound. She is alarmed, but reaches down to the dog, who licks her hand. She is reassured and goes back to sleep. In the morning, she finds the dog hung in the shower. Where the dog slept, she picks up a note which reads “Humans can lick too.”
 

A woman living in the city (Salt Lake) was visiting some friends in Ogden. When she got into her car in front of this friend’s house, she noticed that a car started up right behind her car. It was about 2:00 in the morning, and there weren’t any other cars on the road. After she had driven to the highway, she began to think that this car was following her. Some of the time he would drive up real close to her car, but he wouldn’t ever pass. She was really scared to death and kept speeding to try to get away from him. When she got to Salt Lake, she started running stop lights to get away from him, but he would run right through them too. So when she got to her driveway she pulled in really fast, and this guy pulled in right behind her. She just laid on the horn, and her husband came running out. Just then, the guy jumped out of the car, and her husband ran over and said, “What the hell’s going’s on here?” So he grabbed the guy, and his wife said, “This man’s followed me all the way from Ogden.” The man said, “I followed your wife because I was going to work, and as got into my car, I noticed when I turned my lights on, a man’s head bob down in her back seat.” So the husband went over to her backseat, opened the door, and there was a deranged man sitting on the floor with a knife in his hand.
 

Two roommates remain at their deserted college dormitory over a holiday break. One of the girls goes out on a date that evening, and the other one turns in and goes to bed before her roommate returns. Later that night the sleeping girl is awakened by gurgling and scratching noises coming from outside the hallway door. Frightened, she locks the door and cowers inside the room until morning. When the girl finally opens the door and ventures outside, she discovers the bloody corpse of her roommate in the hallway. The murdered girl’s throat had been slit, and she had bled to death in the hallway while clawing at the door.
 

In Berlin, after World War II, money was short, supplies were tight, and it seemed like everyone was hungry. At that time, people were telling the tale of a young woman who saw a blind man picking his way through a crowd. The two started to talk. The man asked her for a favour: could she deliver the letter to the address on the envelope? Well, it was on her way home, so she agreed. She started out to deliver the message, when she turned around to see if there was anything else the blind man needed. But she spotted him hurrying through the crowd without his smoked glasses or white cane. She went to the police, who raided the address on the envelope, where they found heaps of human flesh for sale. And what was in the envelope? A note saying “This is the last one I am sending you today.”
 

A male flight attendant was stopping over at Japan. He went to a local bar where a Japanese man and woman approached him. They chatted and had a drink; The man gave him an old traditional Japanese drink. The next memory the flight attendant had, was when he woke up in a bath of ice in a hotel room with agonising pains in his stomach. He managed to pull himself out the bath and phone the police. He told them everything he could remember, the policeman described the two people and the man said that’s what they were like. The policeman calmly told him to get back into the bath and sit here till the police and ambulance had arrived, The mans kidneys had been removed.

Nice Thoughts to End a Week and Begin a New One

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
       
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, “Public Utilities Board.” There was silence. She repeated, “PUB.” There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady’s voice, “Oh, so this is PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband’s pocket but I do not know whose number it is.”
       
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just “hello” instead of “PUB”.
       
NO POINTING FINGERS
       
A man asked his father-in-law, “Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?”

The father-in-law answered in a smile, “Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.”
       
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
       
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
       
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
       
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested “I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.” The SDU officer said, “Your requirements, please.” “Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don’t go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.” The officer listened carefully and replied, “I understand you need television.”
       
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
        
NO OVERPOWERING
       
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person’s character.”
       
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
       
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
       
RIGHT SPEECH
       
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.” Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
       
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,”Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.” On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, “Luckily you married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.” She answered ,”You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you.”
       
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It’s like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
       
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
       
Different people have different perception. One man’s meat could be another man’s poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, “Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?”Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, “The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?” Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
       
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, “How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman.” The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, “Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.” Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
       
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
       
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
     
BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy’s hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
       
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy’s hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, ” Daddy,I’m sorry about your truck.” Then he asked, “but when are my fingers going to grow back?” The father went home & committed suicide.
       
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can’t. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
       
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

Baga’g Lefts! Leche Ka!

Kung di ka ba naman lechehin, oo! Konti na nga ang sinasahod, konbti pa ang oras matulog, palagi pang sinusubukan ang pasensya ko! Aba, e, sobra na yata yang ginagawa mo, ‘tol! Hindi magtatagal, hindi na brotherly love nag tingin ko sa ‘yo, kung hindi NAGGING WIFE!

Leche kang hayup ka! Parehas lang tayong nakatira sa iisang bubong, parehas tayong nagbabayad ng renta, parehas din tayo ng mga pinoproblema, hindi ba? Kung shock absorber mo man ako, aba, e, dahan-dahanin mo na ang paggamit sa akin. Dalawa lang ang maaaring mangyari sa akin, iho:

Isa, maaari akong bumigay at masapak ka. Pagmasdan mong maigi ang aking mga kamao at unti-unti nang lalapit ‘to sa pilit mong pinapaputing mukha. Kung ayaw mong magmukha kang avocado, na mangitim-ngitim ang balat dahil sa peasa, magdahan-dahan ka sa mga pananalita mo.

Dalawa, maaari ring mawalan na ako ng bait ng tuluyan. Hindi magtatagal at magwawala na ako sa pagkawalang hiya mo!

Ubod ka ng sakim. Ang akala mo, proque ikaw ang marunong magluto sa ating dalawa ay ikaw na ang bumubuhay sa akin?

Puwes, magaganithan kita, “kapatid”.  Sana ay maalala mo na kapag nanghihina ang ‘yong loob, kapag ikaw ang mabaliw-baliw sa mga nangyayari, kapag ikaw ang may problema, SA AKIN KA PUMUPUNTA! AKO MADALI LANG MAKAKAPUNTA SA KARINDERYA!

Isa kang salot. Hindi ka na nahiya sa kasama mo. Tandaan mong kung anong pinoproblema mo, pinoproblema ko irn. Kung anu man ang dinaramdam mo, ganon din sa akin.

Kaya wala kang karapatan na singhalan ako at sabihing “Marami akong iniisip kaya huwag mo akong kulitin.”

Kung yan ang gusto mo, masusunod po. Sa susunod na magkaroon ka ng suliranin, hindi na kita pakikialaman.

Nawala na ang simpatya ko sa ‘yo.

The Mask is Shattered

…and I feel free! I thought I needed that mask

I’m free! No more self-pitying monster in this blog (I hope). Just mean old me (and I do mean “MEAN”)!

A Crazy Bet

This is funny and I can’t risk any bad luck. Never under estimate the little old Lady…..
 
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, “It’s a lot of money!”
 
After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president’s office (the customer is always right!)
 
The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, “$165,000!” and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.
 
The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, “Ma’am, I’m surprised you’re carrying so much cash around. “Where did you get this money?”
 
The old lady replied, “I make bets.”
 
 The president then asked, “Bets? What kind of bets?”
 
 The old woman said, “Well, for example, I’ll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square.”
 
 ”Ha!” laughed the president, “That’s a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!”
 
The old lady challenged, “So, would you like to take my bet?”
 
 ”Sure,” said the president, I’ll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!”
 
The little old lady then said, “Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?”
 
“Sure!” replied the confident president.
 
That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again.
 
He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.
 
The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president’s office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: “$25,000 says the president’s balls are square!”
 
The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president did. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.
 
“Well, Okay,” said the president, “$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure.”
 
Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The President asked the old lady, “What the hell’s the matter with your lawyer?”
 
She replied, “Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AM today, I’d have The Bank of Canada’s president’s balls in my hand.”

Have a history teacher explain this—– if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln ’s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
 
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
 
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named ‘Ford.’
Kennedy was shot in a car called ‘ Lincoln’ made by ‘Ford.’

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here’s the kicker…

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy huh? Send this to as many people as you can, cause: Hey, this is one history lesson people don’t mind reading

Thanks for Being My Friend

Another Set of Bloopers

Boyfriend to Girlfriend, may LQ: What do you take me for?! Granted?

Guard, answering the telephone: Hello?… Ah yes, for a while. Please hang yourself.

Starlet in an interview: If the odds are against me, then I will against them.

Inday Badiday asks a starlet about her mother’s burial:
Inday: Kumusta ang libing ng nanay mo?
Starlet: Successful naman po.

Army officer to cadet: “Do you know why I ask you to stand?”
“No, sir.”
“Ok, why?” (anlabo!)

Teacher to students: Baka gusto nyong ibilad ko kayo sa covered courts.

Teacher: Class, I want you to watch sex scenes.
Class: What?! Teacher!
Teacher: What’s wrong? It’s a beautiful film starring Bros Welles!
(Bruce Willis)
Class: Aah, Sixth Sense!

Sa isang examination:
Student: Mam, pwedeng gumamit ng liquid paper?
Teacher: Ang kulit naman! Sinabi nang pad paper lang eh.

After the examination:

Teacher: Okey, time is up. One, two, three. Come your papers to me!

A reporter interviews a politician about the Philippine economy.
Politician says: Talagang mahirap ang buhay natin ngayon. Pero slow by slow, we will success.

Teacher: Sorry, class. I’m late. My mother died three years ago. And now she’s dead. (Ano daw?!)

Heard in a fastfood chain:
Yaya: Ma’m, gusto po ni Mark ng KIDNEY MEAL!

Teacher: What is ur name?
Student: Dell.
Teacher: What is ur old? (maybe she meant how old are you?)

In a restaurant:
Waiter: Sir, How do you want your egg?
Customer: Side in, side out.

Mom interviews her daughter’s suitor:
Mom: What’s your course?> Suitor: Geo po (for geology).
Mom: Ahhh… Geo-rnalism. Ok yan. (ok nga!)

Guy to Girl: I love you. This is not a ball. (”Hindi ito bola” in English)

Teacher to students: Okay, form two straight circles and find your height alphabetically!

Teacher to students: Okay class, it’s time to go home. Form a line and pass out slowly.

Angry teacher to student: I want you to bring your father and your mother, especially your parents, understood?! Bring them tomorrow in front of me, right here, right now!

Emcee, in a party: The next song is the favorite song of my best friend, and neither do I!

Posted in an establishment: None ID, nothing entry.

Teacher: Oy, magdala kayo ng chip ahoy a.

Student: Miss may “s” yon…
Teacher: A, sorry. Chip ahoys!

Two lousy-in-engl ish friends talking to each other:
Friend 1: Am I raining outside?
Friend 2: Not yet. Sprinkle only.

In an awards night, presentor goes: And the winner for Best Comedy Show is Okay Ka, Pare Ko! of IBS channel 13. (Ever heard of that?)

Alma Moreno, in her show introduces Nora Aunor who comes in late:
Finally, please welcome, the late Nora Aunor.